


The Boys (Feat. D-Stri)

by triscuit



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-05
Updated: 2013-04-05
Packaged: 2017-12-07 12:21:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triscuit/pseuds/triscuit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake walks in on Dirk indulging in some of his favorite music.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boys (Feat. D-Stri)

**Author's Note:**

> As you might guess, the song I used in this fic is "The Boys" by Nicki Minaj & Cassie.

The routine usually went this way when you woke up from staying at your boyfriend’s house. Before you even got around to the business of good morning kisses, he usually wandered off somewhere. It was to be expected, Strider wasn’t exactly used to the physical portion of your relationship yet. He always was shy in the silliest ways, but how could you not find that endearing?

Rolling out of bed, you try to find your shorts on his already messy floor. It normally was somewhat clean, or at least in a form of organized chaos. But that always changes when you come over. Through wrestling on the floor and setting up nests of blankets this place usually ended up looking absolutely dreadful. And even if he was gritting his teeth in trying to fight back his neurotic behaviour to clean everything, it was obvious he was having a good time.

After kicking about a few piles of smuppets, you finally see khaki peeking through a particularly potent pile of foam rump. With how long it took you to find your shorts, you figured that perhaps going commando would be much easier than finding your underwear. What’s the point, anyway? There isn’t much comfortable about them. Dirk wasn’t going to be there to scold you either way, he was usually out doing some kind of errands at this point. 

Once you avoid nearly knocking your head against the wall in an attempt to shimmy those pants up your hips, you make your way out the door. Your attempt at avoiding clumsiness doesn’t last long, as you knock your head against the wall when you turn to make your way to the kitchen. As you’re trying to catch your senses from the intense pain, you hear something very peculiar. You find it a bit difficult to discern if this is from the head trauma, or if you legitimately are hearing someone singing in the next room. 

Stumbling out into the main room, you’re greeted by the sight of Dirk humming to himself, his fingers tapping against the counter as he reaches up to open a cabinet. And as you open your mouth, you realize that maybe you should be quiet and see what develops from this interesting discovery. 

“...Might pull up in a Porsche...” He hums the rest of the line, and you have a difficult time hearing him until the next bit.

“...Tell a hater, Yo, don’t you got cocks to blow?”

Your hand clamps over your own mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. It’s nearly impossible with Dirk giving you such great material to rib him over later, but it’d be a shame if you made him aware of your presence so early on. After all, there’s plenty of potential at teasing your boyfriend to no end with this. 

He’s moving his shoulders a little, and he’s turning to grab something from the fridge. You just thank your lucky stars that you happen to be just out of his line of sight. Slipping back behind the wall a little more, you try your best at keeping your presence hidden for now. It’d be a damn shame if he managed to catch you this early on. 

When you finally get settled in your spot, you look to see he’s cracking a few eggs into a pan. It’s becoming clearly obvious this bizarre behaviour must be some sort of morning ritual for Dirk. 

You can’t help but snicker as you imagine how fun it will be prodding at him about this. Perhaps you’ll start by asking Dirk to show you some of his fancy dance moves? Or maybe you could point out his excellent singing voice. That’ll surely get his cheeks red. 

You can see him leaning down, opening one of the drawers off to the side. Your brow arches in surprise when you see the item he’s procured. It’s a silly little orange apron that you purchased for him a while back. His long fingers smoothed the frills out as he put it on with a smile. You were certain that he had thrown the item away when he first got it. Apparently, this gag gift looked adorable on him.

And then came the icing on the cake, that horribly embarrassing hilarious dance. Dirk started to move his hips, picking up his pace with his singing. His voice was louder than ever, and with the spatula as his mic, he sang,

“The boys always spendin’ all their money on love. They wanna touch it, taste it, see it, feel it, bone it, own it, yeah yeah. Dollar, dollar, paper chase it get that money, yeah yeah.” 

Well, it was now or never. Fumbling around in your pocket, you managed to find your iPhone. As quickly as you could, you switched on the video function and tried to tap the picture into focus. Just as the camera was adjusting, you managed to catch a particularly amusing bump of the hip as he closed one of the drawers. 

Now it was just a matter of getting the perfect shot to capture every moment of this perfect blackmail. After all, you want indisputable proof that Dirk was making an absolute fool of himself. 

It was quite the struggle to find the perfect shot to film him in. Considering he was being more active than ever, smiling all the while as he was dancing away to this song. He even grabbed for a cup of coffee, drinking it as he shook his cute fat ass. It didn’t hurt that as he leaned over, you happened to get a peek of his stomach from his shirt riding up. And since he thought he was perfectly alone, that bit of flesh was all exposed for your eyes only. 

In fact, it might not hurt to focus on that a little more. Your camera kept wandering there anyway, so it meant that must have been the most humiliating thing about this entire display. And you were completely right. You were even more correct when he happened to stick his rump out as he swayed his hips. Yep, it was an absolute riot. Nothing could’ve been more entertaining than watching him run his hands down his thighs. Especially when he popped back up to lightly spank himself. 

You certainly weren’t trying to shove your hands down your pants. No, you were just adjusting yourself so you could focus the camera on his soft lips. You sincerely wished you could just steal yourself a kiss right now. You couldn’t even get any reprieve as you glanced back down at your phone. You just really realized how short those shorts he was wearing really were. It was almost criminal how you kept getting little glimpses here and there of those bright orange boxers. The fact that those shorts happened to be the slightest bit opaque didn’t help either. You could clearly see where each and every line of the fabric made for a very snug fit. 

You found yourself checking to make sure everything was alright in your downstairs department. After all, that was clearly something that needed to be checked on. And maybe while you managed to make some time to investigate, you could just give yourself a bit of a rub through your own shorts. There was absolutely no harm in that at all.

Hearing the scrape of spatula on metal, you noticed him flipping the eggs as he tugged his shirt down a little. It was a disappointment, but it certainly didn’t make your face any less warm. 

Perhaps you were just going about this all the wrong way. Maybe you needed to get a closer investigation to make this particularly hilarious. That certainly sounded like the absolute perfect plan.

He slid the egg onto a plate, turning down the stove as he wandered to the counter. Humming away, Dirk was clearly occupied by his own entertainment. 

Stepping out into the kitchen, you slowly started to walk toward him. Though that hardly distracted Dirk from what he was doing. The boy didn’t even glance up, and instead just continued his little routine.

Raising both hands above his head, he slowly and deliberately gyrated his hips as you heard him sing, “You get high, fuck a bunch of girls. And then cry, on top of the world. I hope you... Have the time of your life. I hope I... Don’t lose it tonight.” 

Clamping your hands on his hips to steady him, you tug him closer to press your lips to his neck. You then heard a shriek. 

“Jake... Jake what the hell are you doing? Holy shit dude, you scared me... I didn’t see you come in. Were you out getting something? I thought you went home.”

His hands slide over your own as you continue sucking on his neck, and you could hear him making a fuss.

“Wait. Why the hell is your phone out?” His hand parts from yours, and you knew he was stumbling over his own words, “What the hell, dude? Were you recording me? Jesus, look... It was just, it was a joke. Yeah it was a joke because I thought you’d be walking in. So yeah, that’s what’s happening. Alright?” Whatever he said after that completely flew over your head.

You had other things to focus on now. Namely, leaving a mark or two on that lovely soft skin. Biting down, your teeth dug in just enough to guarantee a bruise would be there for Dirk to discover later. At least it finally kept him from squirming anymore, as he settled against you. 

His breath was shallow, and his body was tense despite being pressed to your own. Your hands slid to the front of those white shorts, opening the clasp and pulling down his zipper. Grasping at the growing bulge in his underwear, you run your hands along his dick. You can faintly hear him try to suppress a moan. 

It just happens that your goal is to get him to be just as vocal as he was before. 

Tugging those shorts down past those love handles, your hands wander to move up his shirt. Groping one of his tits, you can hear Dirk let out a sound of annoyance, before he moves his ass against your dick. Squeezing one of his nipples, you use your free hand to tug his shorts down the rest of the way.

He manages to shimmy them off somewhere to get them out of the way, unintentionally showing off just how hard he was. You could see him trying to hide his dick under his shirt, pulling the fabric as much as he could past his hips.

Regardless, it was time for you to investigate how soft those lips of his really were. As he reached back to undo your own pants, you brushed a few fingers over his lips. Dirk eagerly took them into his mouth, sucking on those digits as his tongue swirled around them deliberately. You could feel how warm his face was under your hand. You had a feeling quite a bit of that blush was probably just from the embarrassment of being caught.

There was always just something terribly endearing about the way he felt so inexperienced in all of this. The way he’d stumble with your pants, and his earnest attempt at trying to show you how good he was with his mouth. 

Pulling your fingers away, you moved to press them between his asscheeks. Not for the sake of penetration, but just to see how much he’d react.

You tried to kneel down, but the way your shorts were now hanging at your knees didn’t exactly accommodate that motion. So you had to stumble around with your clothing, kicking it off before finally getting down to the ground. 

Running your fingers over his balls, you used your other hand to spread him open. You could feel Dirk shiver under you as you brushed your tongue along his asshole. You pressed your tongue harder as you could hear his voice becoming needier by the moment. Forcing yourself into him, it wasn’t long before you heard Dirk actually begging to be fucked. But you knew you couldn’t just let him have that right away, and instead just eased yourself out to deliberately make a loud slurping noise against him. 

Finally pulling away, you spoke, “You seemed just fine making a little siren of yourself, didn’t you? And for that, I’m just giving you a bit of punishment. You’ll just have to be patient before you get what you want. It’s not like I can help that you’ve tempted me to come to your shores, babe.” Slapping his ass, you heard him cry out in annoyance. “Hush darling, you’ll get your fill soon enough.”

Standing up now, you reached over him to open one of the cabinets. Pulling out a bottle of olive oil, you poured it over your fingers. Without even hesitating, you proceeded to shove your fingers into his ass. He instantly tightened up against you, and you could hear him cursing as you figured he realized he wasn’t getting fucked just yet. 

Curling your digits inside him, you knew he’d be like putty in your hands. He was trying his best to press his body weight against you, trying to get you to fingerfuck him instead of just tease him. Instead, you just continued your slow pace as you wiped your other hand off on his shirt.

“What’s the matter, Dirk? I thought you’d have a bit more voice left in you, considering how much you love to belt out your silly little songs.” All you can hear is even more cursing from him, clearly frustrated that you were taking so damn long to screw him. 

“Come on, just use your words to tell me how much you deserve this bit of punishment.” 

You could hear him sigh loudly, before finally relenting.

“I deserve punishment. For you catching me doing something really fucking stupid, and for not double checking to make sure you left my home.”

Good enough.

Pulling your fingers out, you slicked up your dick before pressing it against him. 

As you thrusted deep inside him, you leaned forward to rest your head against the back of his. It wasn’t your fault that you had a bit of a guilty pleasure. He always just smelled so lovely, especially when he was being fucked. You just loved the scent of his body, and even more so you enjoyed the smell of his sweat. It nearly was impossible to indulge though, as most of the time Dirk coated himself with various perfumes that covered it up. 

It’s a good thing you caught him early in the morning.

You continued rolling your hips, thrusting as deeply as you could manage. You just wished that you had more self-restraint, because you already felt so damn close to cumming. Digging your fingernails into his hip, you could hear a hiss of pain escape from him. You hushed him, attempting to silence him with another smack to his ass. This only made him tighten up even more, sending a particularly pleasant shiver up your spine.

You felt like a pathetic animal at this point. You were desperately sucking on his neck as you held him firm. With every single thrust your body wanted more. He was so damn warm, and you just wanted to show him how much you needed him. 

Running your hand over his dick, you could hear how pathetic he was getting. At this point he was taking everything you could give him. And in moments, it wasn’t long before he finally had his relief, leaving a mess all over your hand and the counter. 

Managing a few more lazy thrusts inside him, you finally got to indulge in that same pleasure. You were simply a drooling mess, still pressing a few sloppy kisses along his back. 

Dirk was a bit of a surprise himself as he lifted your hand to his mouth. 

Cleaning the cum off of your fingers, he spoke, “You know... If this is how you do the whole blackmail thing, you should catch me doing embarrassing shit more often.” 

With a laugh, you replied, “It would be my pleasure, Dirk.”


End file.
